“What” is the Real Answer. The process of therapy and counseling occurs because of what the relationship is. There are studies and neuroscience knowledge that can tell us scientifically how therapy works but the question that ends up being asked is: What do I do with my life? What am I doing today? What am I doing right now? What can I do to be successful? What can I learn today? What…? What…?
These questions bring us to the issue of the unknown, the unpredictable experience of life. As much as we try to control our lives we are at the mercy of social experience, and biological necessities among other factors. So the question I pose to you is: “What are you going to do about it?”
Define your own “What”. Define the thing that you to be a part of your life. Is that success? Is that love? Is that comfort? Is it altruism? Define the “What”.
Once the “What” is defined you can start to take the steps to figuring out what pieces of that pie you will be able to take on first. We learn and teach about earning money, helping others, being a productive member of society, and a bunch of other “norms”. These “norms” are developed by implicit or implied rules that are developed by each interaction we have with another individual.
In the christian faith the greatest commandant is to “love your neighbor as yourself”. This is an ACTIVE change in your lifestyle. An ACTIVE willingness to take a risk for what you believe in. The passive cookie cutter mold of societal life is this big abstract thing that we seem to fight in order to be ourselves. This could be your “What”, your CHANGE!
Change is an active process that can happen throughout any relationship given the right conditions and experience. As I learn more about counseling and I dig deeper into understanding how better to help others I am learning that being empathetic, genuine, and keeping unconditional positive regard is at the basis. Everyone can achieve these pieces of relationship.
Then why do we have counselors? Because counselors recognize the importance of these interactions and work to help our clients understand the process of change, the process of developing positive relationships, and help you be ACTIVE instead of be PASSIVE in your ability to live healthily and happily.